Return of the Gentlemen

The purpose of this bike trip is to get men to take a stand for the least of these: the vulnerable, widowed, orphaned, boys and girls, men and women, single parent, trafficked, homeless, impoverished, famished, and anyone else who needs to see the light in the darkness. We need the return of the gentlemen. The man who will lay down his own life for the prosperity of others. We need women who will encourage their man to give them a sense of something worth fighting for. And we need men who will build up their women to give them a sense of real love. 

A pastor by the name of Eric Ludy addresses this situation saying men need to learn their job description. He puts it this way, “We are men built as steel hammers but are used as pillow fluffers.” We haven't been taught our job description by older father figures in our lives cause far to often the men who should be teaching are checked out. Meaning that they may be physically there but mentally are absent. They much rather turn on the television and zone out rather than engage with their family. They may be sucked into their phones and not pay attention to their son or daughter inwardly longing to have the engagement of their father. The man may be fully engaged in work and whoring himself out to the pull of money, justifying it by saying, “I'm providing for my family.” Yes, financially you are, but everything else that really matters, you are not providing because you are filling your time with work rather then time with the people who really matter.

A man may be absent because he fills his heart with the lust and desire of other things. This can come in many different forms. The most blatant is obviously pornography and lusting after the hotter and newer model that walks by you on the street. Porn Kills Love! It objectifies women, and tells our brain that we can “click” to the next female or male in our lives (because yes I am talking to you women as well who struggle with porn). We can fill our hearts with lust of money. We can consume our minds with the addictions to just about anything.  Where are my men at?

In turn, since we haven't been taught our job description we become complacent and passive of the problems around us. Pastor Eric Ludy put it this way - If a big meany came to your front door and started pounding on the door saying to let him in cause he wants to hurt someone, would you expect the husband to shove his wife in front of the door saying, "Honey, take care of this. I am going to the basement."? NO!!! As a man we are called to protect. The man should say, "Honey take the kids into the basement, I've got this." And yes, he may be shaking in his boots, but he knows that when a man is a protector he is not a predator.

This does not mean women can't take on the big meany because obviously they have been, and they have been doing an excellent job at it. However, let me paint a better picture: the Big meany coming to your door is a  6’7’’ 280lbs monstrous guy with biceps the size of bowling balls, eats glass for breakfast, and is strung out on pcp (also known as the superman drug. Same drug your hear story's of men being shot dozens of times and still advancing towards destruction. This drug makes ones receptors of pain not engage so they can't physically feel anything). The door is a mere feeble attempt to block out Goliath, but for him to break it down is as easy as ripping a piece of paper. And men, we are sitting on the sideline watching our sports, going to the bars with our buddies, and or letting out lives be consumed with our jobs, while we watch our women taking on the giant. We have men shoving women in front of the door and just watching this issue unfold. We want men to be men and take their place as a protector again.

Once we come home from work we check out and leave the suffering of this world to be dealt with by the women. STAND UP LIKE A MAN!!! Stop running away, checking out, and letting your pride control you. Men need to stop being apathetic towards this injustice. It takes a bigger man to show empathy and stand rather than a passive man. Just cause you work 9-5 doesn't mean that once you get home you don't have a job anymore. You actually start your second shift. 

So men, what can we do? We just recognized the problem, so how do we fix it? We all know Nike’s slogan, “Just Do It”. Well that is a great start, but I want to take that a little further. I want you to be able to say, “Just DID it”. This really is a simple concept to an overly complicated problem. We are the only ones who can control ourselves. We are the only ones who can make a conscience decision to change the world around us. Start with your immediate; your family, friends, school, church, the stranger that walks by. You can read all the books in the world, listen to every seminar around, and hear what other people's thoughts are on how to take a stand. But all of it is useless if we continue to just talk about it. The real change happens when you take your words to action. 

Fathers date your daughters. What I mean by this is fathers show your daughters how to be respected and treated by men. Take your daughters out once a week and do something fun and exciting with them. Just you and her. If a women is raised knowing how to be respected she will seek that respect and true love by other men, and then in turn men will start cherishing the women because they will see the confidence in these women. Then the men will step up to the challenge because we like a good challenge. A son or daughter who is taught that a relationship is more then the physicality will learn to seek out the heart rather then the appearance. 

If you are a single mother with daughters, use your personal judgment and allow a fatherly figure to show your girls how to be respected. If you like to host events, then plan a father daughter dance. If you are a pastor, talk to your congregation about how to be a man. It is ok to address the men while the women are there listening. We all know that the women will be making sure that the men are listening. Also, please, help start a men's group in your church. I can't tell you how many churches I have called/ talked to across the nation where when I ask about meeting with a men's group they tell me either 1) “We don't have one”, 2) “Uh, I think we have one, and I think it meets once a month.” Once a month is not enough 3) “We have one men's group that you can meet with, or let me tell you about our 30 women's groups” the ratio is way off. 

I would love to see these men's groups go out and actually live life together. Personally, I don’t want to sit around and read from the bible and talk about our feelings. That's nice and well needed, I'm not trying to negate that. But I much rather BBQ with the guys and live out life in fellowship. I much rather go and do street ministry with a bunch of dudes. Ride motorcycles and explore Gods creation. Shoot bows and guns and talk about the power of Christ that is within us. I much rather hike, camp, fish, and ruff it to build memories with my brothers in Jesus. I want to set up weekly challenges of accountability with each other, and if we don't meet that challenge we have to either buy a round of beers or get pied in the face. I want a men's group that allows men to be men and teaches them how to be a protector so they don't become a predator. A group that pushes us to stand up for the least of these, and a group that kisses lions. 

What are you going to do? The choice is yours and yours alone. You can either continue to sit dormant, or you can initiate the return of the gentlemen.